When indulging in an office romance, boundaries are a must.
You might be flying high on the bliss of a new relationship, but your colleagues are not obliged to enjoy the PDA, alerts rediffGURU Ravi Mittal, CEO, Quack Quack, an online dating app.
- Dating and relationship queries? Ask rediffGURUS HERE.
Kindly note the image — a scene from the film Bewakoofiyaan — has been posted only for representational purposes.
Office romances can be exciting. But the risk of dating a colleague, even if s/he does not belong to your team, is high.
Have you checked what the HR policy is?
Have you thought about the conflict of interest and how the relationship can dent your professional reputation?
Managing a workplace romance requires a perfect balance between professionalism and your personal connection.
Here are some important things to keep in mind before entering into a workplace romance:
1. Remain professional
The initial dating phase is the most blissful.
It is natural to want to catch a glimpse of your partner, sneak around, hold hands or chat all day long.
But when you are dating a colleague, it is essential to maintain professionalism, especially when you are at your workplace.
DOs
Respect the workplace rules
All interactions with your partner should be as professional as possible.
Work comes first
When in office, work always comes first.
You can put your partner first everywhere else but your romance should not compromise with the quality of your performance at work.
DON’Ts
Avoid PDA
Avoid public displays of affection at the workplace.
It can seem unprofessional and might make others feel uncomfortable. You can save it for your personal space.
Avoid discussing your relationship
While it can be tempting to discuss a new relationship with your colleagues, it’s best to avoid doing so.
Other than a very trusted friend, talking about a relationship, especially with other colleagues, might not be taken well by all.
2. Comply with company policy
Different companies have different and specific policies on workplace relationships to avoid future conflicts.
It is important to have a clear idea about this before pursuing a relationship with a colleague.
DOs
Educate yourself
You must read the employment contract or the company handbook to understand if your company has any specific policy regarding office romance.
Some might ask their employees to disclose their relationship to HR. In that case, do so at the earliest to avoid confusion.
3. Seek professional advice
In case there’s no clear instruction about dating policies at work, always feel free to seek advice from your HR. This will help you avoid violating policies unintentionally.
DON’Ts
Do not violate office policies
Yes, people can date anyone they want to but do not ignore office policies while doing so.
Every company has these guidelines in place to maintain a professional atmosphere. Disregarding them can lead to disciplinary action.
Do not hide your relationship
When you work in the same organisation, people tend to find out one way or another.
If your company requires you to disclose it, do so once you are sure about one another.
4. Set healthy boundaries
When indulging in an office romance, boundaries are a must.
You might be flying high on the bliss of a new relationship, but your colleagues are not obliged to enjoy the PDA.
Work couples need to strike a healthy balance between their personal and professional lives for the relationship to work in the long run.
DOs
Separate work time and personal time
New couples are eager to spend time with each other and when your partner is your colleague, you might be tempted to spend a little more time with them. But it is essential to set apart work time and personal time.
Lunch breaks or breaks in between work can be used for spending time with your partner but the rest of the work hours must be used productively for professional matters.
Communicate
To avoid any confusion, communicate these boundaries with your partner at the very beginning of the relationship.
Two people might have differing expectations. It’s best to discuss things beforehand to avoid feeling ignored or hurting each other’s feelings.
DON’Ts
Do not fight or argue at work
No matter how trivial or serious, never bring your personal issues or disagreements to work.
If there’s an ongoing conflict, try staying away from each other’s sight for the time being.
Do not involve others
Everyone has their favourite colleague but bringing them into your personal affairs is never a good idea.
Couples fight and they make up too. Asking a colleague to pick a side is not fair or professional.
5. Be respectful
Being discreet about workplace romance is another way of respecting your colleagues who are there to work.
It is paramount to ensure that the relationship is not affecting the work environment or the team dynamic.
DOs
Watch your behaviour
Be mindful of your behaviour around colleagues.
Whether there is a mutual feeling of romance or resentment between a couple, they should try to maintain a respectful demeanour toward each other.
A couple’s behaviour should not become a topic for gossip in the office.
DON’Ts
Don’t play favourites
Favouritism is one of the primary concerns of an office relationship, especially if one of the partners holds a higher rank, a leadership role or office of authority.
Be fair and objective and treat your partner like any other colleague in the office.
6. Plan beforehand
There will be challenges in an office relationship, more so than a normal one. Plan ahead so that you can face them efficiently.
DOs
Discuss potential challenges with your partner.
It might sound bleak but also discuss how you would handle things in case of a breakup.
DON’Ts
Don’t let emotions alone control you.
Always discuss with your partner how you would avoid personal matters affecting your work.
7. Expect mixed reactions
Everyone in your office is not going to be happy once the relationship comes out in the open.
You have to be prepared to welcome the good, bad and the mixed reactions from your colleagues and seniors.
DOs
While you are prepared to expect mixed reactions, if any colleague expresses a concern about the relationship, try and listen to them with an open mind without necessarily being offensive or defensive.
DON’Ts
Do not take all appreciation and criticism personally.
Most often, negative reactions don’t reflect on your relationship. It is only one person’s perspective, not a judgment of your relationship.
8. Assess the dynamics
If you and your partner are in different positions, make sure to assess the power dynamics.
Dos
If you are in a position of power, you can ask HR to reassign you to another team to avoid conflicts and partiality.
DON’Ts
Never exploit the power dynamic to influence your partner or pressure them. It’s not only unprofessional but also unethical.
- Dating and relationship queries? Ask rediffGURUS HERE.
