Reconciling Ambition with Gratitude

Today’s story is central to my mission of creating a new approach to ambition. I’m launching something in early 2024 to give you all the systems and frameworks I use to level up my life while running 3 businesses, writing a book, and being a single mom to 3 kiddos with no hired help or team.

“How can I be satisfied with what I have while maintaining my fire to strive for more?”

This is the question that has been stirring around in my brain lately.

Many see this as a dichotomy: “Gratitude is good, so ambition must be bad.”
Dichotomies, at worst, are false; at best, are limiting.

This is the question that has been stirring around in my brain lately.

Many see this as a dichotomy: “Gratitude is good, so ambition must be bad.”
Dichotomies, at worst, are false; at best, are limiting.

Amanda Goetz

Happiness studies contain a prescription for gratitude but my programming since childhood has been an internal narrative of not being “enough” and needing to work harder, do more, and be more as I journey toward the ever-moving goalposts of contentment.

Perhaps this sounds familiar.

In January I will be announcing the podcast I recently joined as the Season 3 guest co-host. I’ve been interviewing the most successful Fortune 500 CMOs and a common thread has started to unravel: the most successful people never feel like it’s “enough”.

“…ambition is a trait or disposition, and, as such, is persistent and pervasive. A person cannot alter his ambition any more than he can alter any other character trait: having achieved one goal, the truly ambitious person soon formulates another for which to keep on striving.”

Life’s a Game is about a new approach to ambition. To acknowledge our ambition in life AND figure out how to enjoy the road to success.

TL;DR
Ambition is not a habit to break. It’s a character trait to understand.

As an ambitious human…. once you achieve something, you quickly begin looking for your next mountain to climb. It’s never about the thing achieved. It’s about the process and reward of achieving.

Life's a game

Amanda Goetz

The dark side of ambition

No matter what, ambitious people have a Day 1 attitude.

A voice that tells them to keep pushing, growing, and moving toward the next milestone.

But ambition grows dark when it becomes a constant, intense, and unrelenting sense of dissatisfaction with yourself.

This shadow follows you around and smothers your sense of self-worth and joy.

The way to conquer the shadow side of ambition is to develop gratitude.

But how?

Gratitude for the ambitious:

Ambitious people are not like everyone else.

We want to push and squeeze as much as we can out of this life. And that’s ok. But it also requires a slightly different definition of gratitude. Gratitude looks more like:

Being aware of life’s abundance
To see the gift in the journey
To realize you will never be in this exact moment, with these people, feeling these emotions…….ever again. To recognize how cool that is.

Keep reading for 5 tips to develop your gratitude muscle while you continue on your road to success.

I’ve hiked a lot of mountains in my life. From Italy to Patagonia to Switzerland.

So here are 5 tips for how to climb a mountain AND enjoy the view.

Life's a game

Amanda Goetz

Realize the destination does not = happiness.

Many times I get to the top of a mountain, pause and gaze at the beauty around me, and then shift my focus quickly to “how much further until the next stop” since I have to still get back down the mountain.

Life is a lot like this.

The destination is not as exciting as the journey.

To help you enjoy the journey a bit more ask yourself these questions:

What am I building toward right now?
Why am I doing it?
How am I growing and learning because of it?
Who is on this journey with me?

Stop to look up.

When you’re hiking steep or rocky terrain, you have to look at your feet. One wrong step and you can twist your ankle or fall. The only way to safely look around at the changing landscape around you is to pause and look up.

3 ways I pause on my journey:

Friday reflection walks (2-3 hours with no phone) to think about the highs and lows of the week.
Monthly reflection days where I look at my goals and growth towards them.
An annual solo trip where I step away from my life and acknowledge the growth and milestones and beauty of the past year.

Look how far you’ve come.

Sometimes we only compare ourselves to those in front of us…..and usually way ahead of us.

It’s important to pause and look at the things (and perhaps people) you’ve encountered on your journey but who are exactly where you left them.

3 tips to look at how far you’ve come.

Keep a props folder
Look at emails and pictures from 1 year ago.
Stay connected to those who helped you on the climb. They will mirror your growth.

Talk it out.

On a hike, you will hear me constantly in verbal awe of nature. “Look at that butterfly!” “oh my gosh, the light hitting the trees is insane!”

This keeps me grounded in the moment and signals to my brain how beautiful the present moment is.

We have to do the same in this life.

Stop right now and say 2 things out loud that are cool in this current moment.

I’ll go first.

I can’t believe 17,000 people are receiving this email right now.
It’s so cool to think I can make money without having a boss.

Climb together.

Fierce independence is a trait many successful people have. But the biggest thing that has allowed me to enjoy the journey more is being hard enough to know I can do it alone but soft enough to accept I don’t want to.

Find the people who will be there every step of the way.

The ones who will pick you up when you stumble and remind you where the trail marker is when you lose your way.

Grateful for you and this journey we are on together.