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Among the most perplexing challenges of our time is how to achieve “balance” in a world that seems to demand more and more of our time, energy, and attention.
Advice on the subject is abundant. Among the most sensible is from that great philosopher Dolly Parton: “Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”
For many people, the old model of work-life balance spawns perfectionism, guilt, and then burnout.
Finally, there’s an approach that makes a world of sense. It’s Kristel Bauer’s debut book Work-Life Tango: Finding Happiness, Harmony and Peak Performance Wherever You Work.
Bauer, a former physician assistant and integrative medicine fellow, is now a popular speaker, entrepreneur, and consultant. She hosts her own popular podcast LiveGreatly, is a contributor to Entrepreneur.com, and is a frequent guest on TV shows across the country. Forbes named her one of the world’s top social media influencers.
“The old model of work-life balance simply isn’t working in modern times,” Bauer says. “I would even say it’s a significant contributor to feelings of guilt and a lack of fulfillment for many. The ability for people to see where work ends and personal time begins is becoming more and more complicated. We need to let go of striving for perfect balance in our external worlds and instead aim to live and work intentionally, making the moments we are given high quality moments.”
What does Bauer see as some of the more frustrating—and possibly even counter-productive—approaches to “balance” that many people are trying?
Kristel Bauer
Stephanie Lynn Warga
“I used to buy into the concept that if I worked an 8-hour (or less) workday with ample time for my personal life, I would be content,” she says. “What I realized was that it wasn’t necessarily about the time I was spending on different areas, it was about the impact it was having on me. As a former healthcare practitioner, I could work a short 4-hour shift, and then carry the weight of that time with me in an invisible backpack all week long. Now, running my own business, some days I work longer than I have in the past, but it invigorates me instead of draining me.”
In short, she says, it isn’t about having a perfect balance in the hours dedicated to different areas. It’s about having a sense of inner balance. “This shows up when how you are spending your time matches up with your core values and your personal mission.”
What impact did the Covid pandemic have on the ways people view—and try to juggle—the various responsibilities in their lives?
Bauer says the pandemic was a global checkpoint causing people to take a close look at their lives. “It resulted in our homes becoming our places of work, humanizing the workforce. At the same time, it showed people that a hybrid or remote work environment is feasible and desirable for many. It added a fresh sense of flexibility for how we work, providing a sense of autonomy which may have otherwise been lacking.”
So, how has the rise in hybrid and remote working arrangements affected people’s use of their time, energy, and attention?
“Having the ability to work remotely is a plus for many, but there are some key things to consider,” Bauer says. “You need to be intentional with your attention, going out of your way to set yourself up for success. If your workspace is in your main living area with dirty dishes in your view, you’re setting yourself up for distraction. If your phone is sitting next to you dinging every ten minutes, you’re setting yourself up for scattered attention. Overworking can also be a concern. So aim to take regular breaks and incorporate rituals to help with the transition from work mode to home mode.”
Bauer urges people to ask themselves, “Is your inner voice more of a best friend or more of a bully?” She says honest contemplation on that question helps a person with work-life management.
“It all starts with you, so taking time to build an empowering relationship with yourself will benefit you in all areas of your work and life. Working toward having a growth mindset takes effort and intention, but with a shift in perspective, you can turn a roadblock into an opportunity. When we feel good about ourselves, focusing on progress and not perfection, we show up differently. We are happier, more productive and naturally more present. This can have a positive impact on all those in our work and lives.”
In many organizations, people operate in a burnout culture. Other than changing jobs, how can a person deal productively with that?
“In addition to setting healthy boundaries and incorporating micro self-care breaks amid your workday, opening the doors of communication around this is key,” Bauer says. “After I gave a keynote talk there was a woman who spoke up during the Q and A, saying she was struggling with navigating her work-life dynamic in the mornings. Her boss was in the audience, and he suggested setting up a meeting so they could brainstorm ideas and potentially initiate a later start time. This would have never happened if the concern was not voiced.”
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What role does technology play in people’s struggles with work-life management?
“Technology can control our focus and attention if we aren’t intentional with how we use it,” Bauer says. “Look around and notice how many people have their heads down staring into a screen. The goal is to have technology work for you and not the other way around. There was a time when I had gotten into a habit of waking up and immediately grabbing my phone to turn off my alarm. I would then start mindlessly scrolling through my messages, leaving me feeling overwhelmed. I decided to intervene by making the first 20-30 minutes of my day technology free. This small change helped me reclaim my mornings and it set the stage for a healthier relationship with my phone throughout the day.”
For some people, making work “fun” may seem counterintuitive. But Bauer recommends it.
“Going to work should not feel like drudgery,” she says. “There are bound to be tough days and tasks that aren’t your favorite, but you can counter those with tweaking how you are showing up. We can get into habitual patterns where we settle for being frustrated or unhappy. Instead of settling, ask yourself, ‘How can I approach this in a new way?’ If you loathe navigating your email inbox on Monday mornings, how can you make it a bit more enjoyable? Maybe you can listen to some music or go on a working walk? Adding more life into your workday helps you feel happier and more productive.”
Knowing what she knows now, what advice would Bauer have given herself ten years ago?
“I would say, let go of trying to be perfect. Embrace growth and work on your relationship with yourself. You are the expert in you, so go within for answers to those big questions. Believe in yourself and trust yourself.”
