Changing bodies, more rigorous academics and new social challenges can make middle school tough for students.
For children entering this environment, it’s normal to be uneasy about entering a new school and new phase of life.
Child psychologist Dr. Emily W. King has two children and knows about the anxieties of middle school to a rising student. She talked with WRAL News about ways parents can navigate these journeys.
A trial for high school
In middle school, children start to separate themselves from their peers and seek out independence in their day-to-day lives. With that freedom comes responsibility.
Getting a middle school-aged child to embrace responsibility can be easier said than done, but parents can enforce these lessons in how their children conduct themselves at home and school.
“We’re really starting to notice how independent our child is with their organization and their executive functioning,” King said. “Can they remember to study for the test? Do they remember to bring the items home? That’s something that they didn’t have to do as much of in elementary school. So, we want to think of middle school as like a trial for high school, and what kind of skills do we see that are weak in terms of needing strategies or needing support and study skills to help our kids prepare for being more independent in high school.”
Finding their ‘thing’
It’s during the middle school years that strengths and interests start to emerge. Many start to foster a love of sports, music groups, hobbies and establishing favorite subjects in school. Middle school is a great time to explore and find a child’s strengths so they can gather an idea of what might be a suitable career for them.
“We want to really figure out is our child noticing what their thing is,” King said. “Do they love theater? Do they love sports? Do they love robotics? What is that thing that they love? How can I find a club or a class or activity where they can socially expand the kids that are around that are going to share that interest with them? Because that’s going to be part of them learning how to build a community, learning how to feel good socially and confident, and that will follow them into the high school years.”
Educational, social hurdles for teens and tweens
It’s normal for preteens and teenagers to be anxious about going back to school. But positive, in-person social interactions with friends, peers and teachers are what kids need more than ever. When school starts, don’t forget to encourage extracurricular activities, time away from screens and fun with friends.
“We crave that,” King said. “It’s good for us, we need it to survive.”
After years of virtual and remote learning during the pandemic, King said she sees many students struggling with motivation and staying focused in classrooms.
“Kids seem to have jumped right back into most social interactions,” King said. “I see more lagging skills related to independent learning and executive functioning and being able to focus, because learning online is drastically different for our brains than learning in person.”
That’s why it’s especially important in middle school and high school to instill self confidence in your tween or teen, encouraging independence and problem solving.
What parents can look out for
Middle school is a time for kids to practice putting their communication and organizational skills to work.
“All the [skills] you’ve built over time … communicating with your child’s teacher or structuring homework … your child is going to start doing on their own in middle school,” King said. “You’re starting to step back to let them take the lead on emailing the teacher for help if they need it or practicing forgetting something and having to deal with that through the school day.”
In middle school, keep an eye out for subjects or areas where your child may be struggling. In a digital age where students work on Chromebooks at home and in classrooms, King said many kids find it difficult to balance working both online and on paper.
“I find that even though everyone has a Chromebook and they’re doing so much work online, they really struggle to stay focused or to shift tasks or to remember to turn stuff in if it’s not on paper,” King said.
Talk with your child about what they need to learn — there may be a certain class where paper works best, or they may need to ask a parent or teacher for help with a digital assignment.
Practicing emailing and messaging teachers and classmates and even texting their friends is important at this age, King said.
“We can follow up with them if we’re checking these devices and coaching them on something they said that could have been said in a nicer way or if they said something to an entire group text that could have been said directly to a friend,” King said.
