Hi, I’m Steph, and I’m a mum of two girls who are 15 and 13. We live in Hertfordshire. I’ve been writing a blog about our family life ever since our youngest daughter was diagnosed with autism when she was just two and a half. I share lots of our experiences online under my blog name, Steph’s Two Girls.
How I set up technology for my kids
My girls have both used technology a lot from a fairly young age. When they started, I said they could only choose free apps to download, and I wanted to approve them so I knew what they were playing with. We mostly said no to any in-app purchases. For online PC or console games, the girls always had to check with us first before clicking to buy anything. If I was happy with what they were wanting to buy, I would either hand over my credit card or input the details myself. And then as they got older, they began to be allowed to buy any games or add-ons they wanted using our credit card, but they then have to give us the cash back for anything they buy.
Online banking for kids
When they reach the age of 13, we set up bank accounts for them for their pocket money at a standard high street bank, but one where they have the option to use online banking. That means they’re able to check in online whenever they want to, to see how much money they’ve got, and then they can judge whether they can afford what it is they want to buy. I think that has helped them understand the value of things. For example, our 15-year-old recently asked if I could buy her a new TV series on Amazon. It was £20, so I told her she was more than welcome to pay for it out of her own money. And funnily enough, she wasn’t so keen to have it then. Our eldest does buy lots of items online for herself, like clothes, books, and stationery, but I know I can trust her not to go crazy because she’s using her own money.
Online purchases for kids
It’s not been so easy to help our autistic girl be aware of the money because she doesn’t like checking online how much she has, and she prefers me to still be in control, which works for us for now. I do know there can be issues around online purchases for some autistic children, though, because it can be too easy to keep clicking to buy more. But we’ve been lucky with our girl that it hasn’t gone that way.
Advice for parents
I guess my advice would be to set ground rules in advance and keep on talking about money. Things like saying how much there is available to spend on games or toys or food, whether that’s per week or per month, just so that children understand why you are saying no to online spending. And I would always make sure that any child’s account is linked to the adult’s account in some way. So, for example, on Apple devices, we have a family account, and originally, I would have to physically approve any purchase on any device. But as they’ve got older, I relax that setting, but I do still get notification of any spending, so we can talk about it if one of the girls has spent too much on something which I’m not sure about.
Another suggestion is to make sure there is an extra step to confirm any spending. So, for example, if there are any in-app purchases, you or the children have to re-enter your password in order to be able to buy, and that just makes it less easy to do by mistake.
I think the way we’ve done it has helped our girls to understand the value of money and to make the right choices. We started those kinds of conversations at a very young age, so we’ve not had any big overspends along the way, which I’m very grateful for.
