We’ve all done the soft launch. A cropped photo at dinner, a mystery hand in your Instagram story, maybe a tagged restaurant, but never the person themselves. It’s the perfect balance of “I’m taken” and “don’t ask questions.” Polished enough to seem intentional or distant and sufficient enough to protect the vibe.
So when Vogue published the now-viral essay, “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” the internet, naturally, lit up with debate. The question felt absurd at first, but the reactions made sense. The piece touched a nerve because it captured something real about how Gen Z women are navigating identity, visibility and self-worth in public spaces where every choice — even love — feels like content.
@chantayyjayy So many thoughts! This is my 2AM summary please go and read ❤️
♬ original sound – Chanté Joseph
For many young women, especially those building careers in creative or corporate industries, the question isn’t really about romance, but perception. Having a boyfriend, or any visible relationship, suddenly becomes part of your personal brand; something to be managed and curated.
Online, independence has become a kind of social currency. The vibe is “I’m booked, busy and unbothered.” Anything that threatens that autonomy, even emotionally, can feel like a PR risk.
It sounds ridiculous until you realize how many people in our generation have been trained to think like marketers. We’ve learned to anticipate how we’re perceived before we even speak.
Gen Z has internalized crisis communications for our own emotions. In a world where “girlboss” ambition is making a tongue-in-cheek comeback, “tradwife” aesthetics are trending and identity itself has become a brand strategy, Gen Z has mastered being curated, strategic and nonchalant. But those same traits that make us polished professionals can make us emotionally distant.
Real intimacy doesn’t always fit neatly into a personal brand.
This mindset ties directly into the reemergence of the “girlboss,” only now it’s been rebranded as ironic, self-aware and exhausted. We’ve watched the original hustle culture crash under the weight of burnout, yet its pressure to constantly project empowerment still lingers. Having a boyfriend isn’t embarrassing; it’s simply incompatible with the image of constant self-sufficiency that young women were told to perfect in both their personal and professional lives.
In PR and marketing, we talk about authenticity as if it were a KPI. Brands want to appear relatable but never too exposed, emotional, but never messy. The same tension plays out in how Gen Z women manage their digital selves. There’s pride in being seen as disciplined, detached and in control because we know how easily sincerity can be screenshotted and dissected to be used against us at any time.
But vulnerability, after all, is what builds trust. Whether you’re talking about brands or people, connection is the whole point.
So no, it’s not embarrassing to have a boyfriend. It’s embarrassing that we’ve been taught to view intimacy as a liability. Gen Z’s next challenge, both personally and professionally, might just be learning that showing care isn’t a weakness.
Ashley Rivera Mercado is the founder and president of Mujeres in Marketing.
