A Lobsters thread asking which mail software self-hosters run reveals a community split between legacy stacks and modern containers. Delivery to Gmail and Outlook remains the dominant obstacle regardless of the software choice.
A discussion on Lobsters asking which email software self-hosters use surfaced a consistent complaint: reaching Gmail and Outlook matters more than the server code itself.
The original poster runs maddy across multiple domains. The native iOS email client takes too long to connect and download messages. This delay breaks one-time password flows. Other participants described older stacks. One user runs postfix plus cyrus imapd after 27 years. They call the storage rock solid but say spam filtering policies grow harder to manage. Residential DSL IPs carry bad reputations. Gmail ignores mail from those addresses.
Modern containers dominate newer setups. One participant uses mailcow on Debian. They previously ran docker-mailserver and OS-level postfix with dovecot. Another runs mox on a Linode VPS. They report near-zero maintenance. Stalwart appears as a newer option. A participant trials it for bank statement parsing via windmill. Groups support lags behind Google Groups.
Money solves some delivery problems. Several users route outgoing mail through AWS SES. One pays $0.50 monthly. This bypasses Microsoft forms that block direct connections. Scaleway users face Spamhaus PBL blocks. They fill out a form once a year to remove their IP.
Spam filtering varies by preference. One participant skips server-side filtering. Thunderbird handles spam on the desktop. The phone scrolls past junk. Another uses spamassassin but notes rspamd performs better.
Maintenance requires constant attention. OS upgrades break docker setups. DANE and TLSA records need updates after certificate renewal. One participant uses LLMs to diagnose bugs and build test suites.
Home servers work with good ISPs. MailInABox runs on Ubuntu. It manages DKIM cleanly. Greylisting delays sign-up emails.
The thread highlights a shift. Self-hosting email means accepting infrastructure constraints. Software choice matters less than network reputation.
