Tell yourself: I have fears and that’s okay. Day 4 of the Self Confidence Challenge
Yesterday, we chatted a bit about how you have tomorrow to anticipate…. so even if the day closed and you didn’t meet any of your goals, there’s still tomorrow to turn things around.
Today, I’d like to chat about confronting your fears.
See… *everyone* has fears.
And that’s okay. The key…. well…
The key is naming them, inviting them in, listening to their worries, thanking them, and then letting them go/become your friend.
What a big huge process, aye?
Let’s break that down like so.
Name the fear
And not just “Scary fear” or “Annoying fear” but more like “Fluffy.” Yep, I tend to view my fears as dragons… dragons that don’t yet know how to communicate like friendly neighborhood pals.
Fluffy has definite concerns about me, see… but he simply doesn’t know how to talk to me yet so I’ll understand and reassure him I’ll take care of myself.
Thus, take one of your fears and imagine it as something that could EITHER be scary or protective. Then give him/her a name. Right now, that fear might be scary to you… your challenge will be to turn it into something protective.
Invite Fluffy and listen to *his* fears.
Now, here’s the scariest part of the whole thingee… but not to fear because you have this!
Take an *honest* look at Fluffy the Dragon (aka your fear). Imagine yourself sitting down with his, offering him a cup of coffee, and listening to what’s bothering him.
*Why* does Fluffy exist in the first place?
What does Fluffy really represent?
Go now and ask Fluffy the above questions.
For example, let’s say that Fluffy the Dragon is worried about your job.
- What *aspects* of your job? If the Fluffy’s fears come to past, how can you react to turn that experience into something positive?
Or maybe Fluffy is worried that your friend doesn’t like your opinions.
- If that’s really true… can you give yourself permission to realize, the ONLY person you can control is yourself… ie, you cannot control how others act, but you can choose to control how you *react*?
If you really give yourself permission to examine your fear…
… there’s a possibility that when you face it point blank…
It might not be as scary as you previously thought.
Wouldn’t that be grand?
Once you’ve faced that fear….
Make no mistake about it… facing fear can be *really* scary.
Honor yourself for having the courage to try!
Mentally thank Fluffy. After all… when you dare something you’ve never done in the past…. you become *stronger* for having endured it.
That strength… it’s a gift of courage. It’s a gift you have just given yourself!
Honor it. And the last step is:
Give yourself permission to let your fear become your *friend*
I’m serious here.
When you tame your fear and befriend it instead, not only are you neutralizing the power of that fear….
But you’re also retaining the alertness that fear taught you…
So in the future, you’ll recognize similar situations and react wisely.
Not with fear….
…. but wisdom.
It’s okay to have fears.
It’s even better to acknowledge and face them….
… and it’s grand to tame them and make them your friend.
Remember, you own your life and your choices….
Make sure to put any fear you might have to work for your benefit… instead.